This week... Xbox action
We are proud to introduce a brand new member to the team in the venusian (as in the Greek archetype of beauty, not the planet) form of our lass Lizzie, who goes by the handle Pocketfrenzy.
So, for the first time, let’s hand over to Lizzie…
I'm Pocket. I'm 24, newly single and living in a tiny attic bedroom dominated by a king-sized bed, surrounded by lizards, consoles and clothes. When the sun shines through the window it covers the room in rainbows.
I drive a VW Polo, 1.4cl. It's bright green with lilac fluffy seat covers, smells like a pub and has various malfunctions, but I have repaired the death seat now. I spend a lot of time in there roaming the country with friends trying to find parties, with varying degrees of success, but we always have fun.
My spare time is spent playing games and spending far too much time on forums during the week and binge drinking at the weekend.
I bought my first games console in February, but my earliest memories are of breaking in to my neighbours' house to play their ZX Spectrum and Atari.
I got to play arcade machines a lot when my Dad used to run a pub (Street Fighter
!) and I have always had consoles around the place which friends would leave at mine for sessions. I finally feel like I own my life.
It’s been a very good week in my gaming life. Despite the initial, but inevitable, delay in getting Halo 3
Beta online it was worth the wait! Now, to put this in context, I bum Halo
. I bum it hard. Like an over-excited dog in heat, rutting against the telly-box with joy whenever I get the chance to do some co-op and as for LAN – well – it’s a three-change-of-underwear event for all the right reasons.
So, you can imagine the ecstasy with which I was overcome when playing the new maps like Valhalla and Snowbound (blood on the snow – I love the smell of symbolism in the morning!) with new weapons and or new techniques needed for old ones and a whole barrage of new equipment, new vehicles, It’s a true return to form after the somewhat disappointing Halo 2
. Graphics seem like they’ll be a bit better too – none of that ‘is that an enemy or a tree?’ over-complication that doomed so many maps on Halo 2
. I knew that trailer couldn’t be getting me all het up without good cause – although I do always imagine Master Chief as being Bruce Forsyth now.
I also got a chance to play two games that had come highly recommended – God Hand
and Earth Defense Force
EDF is just like the rumours say: “a shite game which somehow pwns!” Unlimited firepower on most weapons (where’s the challenge?), buildings that collapse from a single shot (some severe architectural mismanagement there) and giant insects invading Earth, squirting you with jets of acid from their abdomens making it feel somewhat like an average Friday night in Leeds. However limited its budget, the end result is a game that makes you feel about twelve, with no-frills action only surpassed by the end of Commando
My introduction to God Hand
came with the phrase “You NEED to watch these credits.” An unlikely premise upon which to set about taking on a saloon full of blokes, flicking through the slow-mo special moves before kicking enemies into the stratosphere, but one that suits this Kung-Fu Hustle
-style lolerama perfectly. Just to reiterate – you NEED to watch these credits. And check out the Chihuahua racing – just for the names!
There seems to be a real sense of creativity and epicurean pleasure in the world of gaming at the moment; and like Hedonismbot, I can imagine the good people at Bungie and Sandlot being carried aloft, languishing in the arms of geeks the world over, warbling “I apologise for nothing!” Total enjoyment, brilliant playability and escapism abounds.
was on TV t’other night. Cut to ribbons, but we can’t have it all, can we?
Actually, with games like these being released seemingly endlessly at the moment, maybe we can.
I’m going down to have a quick word with ITV, with my ebony warhammer. Care to join me?